Jumping in

It's been a while since i stopped blogging. It's a shame really, since every few days I have these moments of inspiration when I want to think out loud, present a new idea or just share some silly joke or profound insight, and I guess that's what a blog is for, isn't it..?

So here's a first post - about jumping in. This is my practice these days, and this blog is part of that. Not having a plan, a detailed long-term vision or anything like that... just jumping in, taking a leap of trust in myself and whatever impulse got me to crave blogging all of a sudden. So here it is. An impulse. Unknown, unplanned, uncharted. And without knowing why or how, I'm following it. Welcome to the ride... :-) If you join me, this will take us into unfamiliar places, to explore, question, inquire and rejoice in life's playground.

So my first inquiry is into impulse. Just like this one. How do I tell the difference between an impulse and a compulsion? Why does this feel important to do despite the 10 zillion other things on my to-do list... while many other ideas or desires have popped up in my head all day long and I casually dismissed them...? I'm reading a book these days that differentiates between intention and inspiration. Yes, this feels like inspiration... how do I know that...?

Ok, I'm checking it out as I type. Clue #1: It feels opening. as I do it, something inside of me expands. There's also a trembling of sorts, and various random "Who wants to read your ramblings anyways" kind of thoughts... but underneath all of that is a sense of opening spaciousness.
Clue #2: Persistence. I've had flashes of "Oh this would be cool to post on my blog" for the past 2 weeks. Every time I have words tumbling out of there I sadly acknowledge my bloglessness. So now that's a sign that this is an impulse that had some deeper roots because it keeps showing up, unsolicited.
Clue #3: I don't know why it's right. There's a distinct absence of strategic thinking... Strategic in the 'negative' sense of a compulsive pattern that is trying to defend against or attain some sort of gratification that's linked to my beliefs about myself. Sure, I have various justifications... but they are on the surface and coming as an after-thought. The impulse it self is clean. No agenda. No beliefs ringing off the hook. Just a movement, a wave, and I feel moved by it rather than pushing it.
Clue #4: I'm interested. Yes, really. I have about 100 ideas passing through my mind every day. But many of them, if I really tune in, are boring. They bore me before heading out the gate. This idea intrigues me. Since I'm the main person involved in this blogging business, I guess it's a good idea for me to be excited about it....!

Any other ideas...? any inner clues for how to sort out the gold nuggets from the stones, the ideas and impulses worth pursuing versus the ones that are just tired same-old 'stuff'...?

Would be happy to hear about it, and will be delighted to share more of these inner and outer inquiries as they come up. Enjoying every moment makes life all that much more delicious... :-)

Love.